


Independence Day

by pfeifferpack



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pfeifferpack/pseuds/pfeifferpack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LA has been saved, Angel Shanshu'd and Spike sacrificed yet again.  Buffy and Dawn celebrate Independence Day and consider the future while remembering the past.  Can there be a future worth embracing even at this late date?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"So did Marina get released okay?"

"Yes, Willow, all Slayers up and ready to rumble." Buffy sounded tired, but then she had been that way for over a month. "Dawn and I are going to stick around, take in the parade at Huntington Beach. It's the centennial this year and they're pulling out all the stops, or so Dawn keeps saying."

Willow could hear Dawn in the background easily, "Is it SO wrong to want a day, just one day, without angst and Slayer business? Come on Buffy, we haven't been home since ... well .. since home was above ground."

"She's not wrong, Buffy. You've earned it after the annual Apocalypse and the ..." Her voice trailed off. Once upon a time she and Buffy had been the closest of friends, telling each other everything. Things were better but that time of near sisterhood was gone, buried under years of pain and power struggles and loss. Even with the distance between them Willow knew that Buffy was struggling to accept that her second chance had come and gone all in a dark alley in LA.

"So ... Angel?"

"What about him?" Buffy's voice could freeze the espresso she was sipping.

"How's all the 'real boy' stuff working for him?" Willow was starting to regret bringing up the former Vampire judging by Buffy's response. Still Angel had once been Buffy's one true love, surely she was delighted now that TPTB had rewarded him with humanity. Maybe he could console Buffy, regain what they had been cheated out of all those years ago.

"Haven't a clue." Buffy in fact had been refusing to take calls from him ever since the shocking discovery that he had done something mystical about shoes. He's been all smiles as he had tried to explain how there was a prophecy that said a souled vampire would be rewarded with being washed clean of his crimes and given another chance as a human. He had seemed to think that reward included her too, all tied up in a pretty bow.

"Will, I need to go now. I have a ticking time bomb of teenage energy here to contain. Just tell Giles all the girls are now healed and we only lost five after all. Marina may need a couple of more weeks but it doesn't look like her first Apocalypse has made her want to run away." She felt a bit bad that she hadn't fully reconnected with Willow but there were just so many memories and so many hurts still raw and bleeding.

It didn't help that some of her friends had expected her to jump for joy at Angel surviving, not to mention being all pulse having. They still didn't really get how much Spike had meant to her. Her fault for denying and hiding she supposed. Still it should have been obvious. Then again it hadn't been obvious to him and he was always searching for crumbs. Angel didn't get it either but then he hadn't been there to watch it grow, watch HER grow.  
~~

"But, Buffy! Now we can be together. There are all these other Slayers so you can ease off a bit. I can finally be with you like we both wanted. That white picket fence and fat grandbabies can finally happen!"

"So this shoe thing, it's because you picked the right side in an Apocalypse?"

"Of course I did!" He puffed with pride, "Was there any doubt? I'm the PTB's champion .. or was, I guess ... what other side would I pick?"

"Did that prophecy say anything about you STARTING the Apocalypse in the first place?" He had frowned and his eyes had shifted looking for a way to put a pretty face on his grand plan that nearly destroyed the world and had destroyed all his closest friends and allies. "Did it say anything about you pulling everyone else into it?"

"Buffy, don't be that way. Everyone was there because they chose to be." He nearly pouted and tried giving her those sad eyes that had always melted her in the past.

"I'm sure they did. Of course you didn't give them much choice did you? What? They turn you down and walk off even though you had already started the ball rolling and it was going to happen with or without them? Sounds to me like they couldn't very well say no at that point, could they?"

"I didn't make anyone do anything they didn't want to, Buffy." His voice had an edge to it. He knew she was talking about Spike. "He didn't want you to know. I didn't force him to stay here, Buff, that was all Spike's idea. He finally did the right thing and stopped stalking you, gave you a chance to really live not be sucked into the dark with him out of ... I don't know, sense of ... I really don't get what you thought you owed that idiot."

"That idiot never left me before and I gave him plenty of reason. Forgive me if I have to think there was some influence in his decision to stay away," she turned cold eyes on him. "He was always there even when I didn't want him to be."

"I wouldn't have stopped him from coming to you if he'd really wanted to," Angel sounded petulant.

Buffy thought back to the Hellmouth, how Spike had burned, and all for her. How he had looked at her with the saddest eyes and replied, "No, you don't but thank you for saying it." It was her fault. She had never been wordy girl and Spike had finally been conditioned to listen to her words and not read into her actions. Her actions that last year had been screaming her love for him, at least ever since the FE had taken him. Well, okay that kiss he had witnessed between her and Angel hadn't exactly said 'Buffy loves Spike' but the rest had! Still Spike believing what he saw not what she said had led to the badness that had been the trigger for his soul getting. No, he only heard words after the soul and when they were said it was too late.

Angel had been talking while she was mentally kicking herself for the past but she hadn't heard a word. "....then I figure we could maybe find a place up the coast. Santa Barbara is pretty. Connor doesn't live far. You'll like him."

"Angel, there is no future for us." She held up a hand to his protestations. "My cookies were cooked. I just didn't realize it until they burned."

~~  
She had walked away then and had been avoiding his calls ever since. She wondered idly if she'd eventually have to take out a restraining order before he got the message.

"So, parade first then grab a bite and head to the beach to get a good spot for the fireworks?" Dawn had already decked herself out in red, white and blue enough to warrant a salute. "This is the first time they'll be at the beach in a long time and they are expecting a massive crowd."

Buffy sighed, no point in fighting the Fourth of July fever that had overtaken Dawn. "Okay. Let me take a quick shower and change. And don't expect me to dress like I should be run up a flagpole either."

Dawn let out a squeal and threw herself into the club chair by the window. Council money provided only the best for their head Slayer when traveling. Far cry from the days when she and Buffy weren't sure about dinner unless Buffy caged some leftovers from the Doublemeat.


	2. Chapter 2

The weather was perfect, only in the high 70's and not a hint of possible rain. Buffy and Dawn found a spot with a great view for the parade and settled in. Luckily the people around them were nice family types not like the college jocks across the street who were clearly more interested in beer and firecrackers than they were floats and high school bands.

"Wow, just think if you guys hadn't popped in and saved the day none of this would be here," Dawn was quite proud of her sister and the other Slayers who had arrived in that dark, rainy, alley just in time with enough firepower and magical mojo to keep LA from joining Sunnydale as yet another former California city. "They don't even realize how much they owe you guys or you'd be the Grand Marshal."

"Doubt it. No one sees what's right in front of their faces, not just me." Buffy sat on the curb and waited for the parade to begin.

Dawn looked down at her somber elder sister and bit her lower lip. She really had hoped that Buffy would have snapped back a little by now. It had been over a month since that last battle and a year or so more since the one in Sunnydale. She got past that one, the one that took everything they had, faster or so it had seemed. Maybe Buffy had just been covering better then?

She sat down next to her, "You know you can talk to me. I'm practically grown now and can handle whatever you toss at me without burning journals and cutting myself."

Buffy gave her a small grin. "Talk won't do anything, Dawnie. Besides I know you all hated him."

Dawn blinked rapidly (was that wetness in her eyes?). Her voice held a suspicious choking sound that she gulped down before responding. "I didn't hate him, Buffy. I loved Spike way before any of you even tolerated him. He was like a big brother to me. A way-cool big brother with leather and a bike and all." She took a deep breath. "I was mad. Mad at him for what he did to you, or tried to." She put up a hand to stop Buffy from interrupting. "I was also hurt. We'd been so close when you ... died ... then all at once I was like nothing. He never came around and never had time for me and then I find out he ... well ... I was mad and hurt."

"Dawn he didn't come around because I wouldn't let him. I thought he would be a bad influence. Oh who am I kidding, I knew he'd never hurt you. I kept him away because I didn't want anyone to figure out what was going on with us." She put a hand on Dawn's shaking knee, "I'm sorry I kept him away from you and sorry I hurt you. I'd love to say I didn't know but really I just didn't care back then. I couldn't seem to care about much of anything or anyone."

A long silence illustrated the gulf that still was to bridged over that lost year of pain and punishment.

"Did you love him at all?"

Buffy was quiet and Dawn thought at first that she was not going to answer just as always when Spike's name came up.

"I think I did as much as I could. I mean I wouldn't have done all those things with him if I didn't have some feelings. I think if I'd been in a better place I could have." She looked Dawn full in the eye. "We'd become friends first. Really friends. I could talk to him. I could just BE with him. Then it got physical and then it got ugly and I hated me so much! I took it all out on him and he let me."

"Yeah, he would." Dawn nodded sagely.

"Stupid Spike," her voice broke on his name, "He was all about the giving even when it edged over into enabling. Tore him up and broke him down. Funny at the same time he built me back up, made me come back to life." Buffy's eyes widened. "Which one of us was the Vampire then? I sucked the life from him to survive and nearly killed him in the process."

"I'm sure he didn't see it that way, Buffy. Spike loved you."

"Yeah. Till it killed him." Buffy thought back to all the pain and anguish of those years, the way it could have been if only she had let it be so. If she had only given herself permission to love back, to take a stand for what she wanted and needed for a change.

Dawn's voice was barely audible, "Why didn't he call? Was it me? I threatened to burn him you know."

Buffy smiled and hugged her, "No, it wasn't you. I think ... I think he didn't know how. He was always so cock sure without the soul but after, well, he was on shifting ground and didn't know what to think or feel or do. I can't imagine Angel gave him any encouragement. Besides none of us were very nice to him over the years even after he'd earned it." She bit back a sob. "What was there for him to run to?"

"Us." Dawn couldn't imagine Spike anything but sure of himself. "He could have run to us."

The parade had started and they had missed the Grand Marshal and first few floats and bands. The local Sheriff's Posse horse patrol was clomping up the street in front of them now. Time to get into the present.

Nothing was going to bring Spike back for her to have a third change to get it right, not after seeing him pulled apart by those demons in the alley during Angel's Apocalypse. He was gone. She had searched for any sign he'd made it for days after the battle. She'd told Giles it was because she wanted to stay for the girls who were injured until they could return to Scotland and the academy.

In the 45 days since she had buried their dead, consoled their injured but mostly she had looked for any sign that Spike might have miraculously survived. She doubted he'd even seen her there in all the chaos. 45 days, she would wait 147 if she thought there was the slightest chance he was alive. With Marina out of the hospital in the morning her legitimate reasons for staying would be at an end. Still Buffy considered taking a leave at least until that magic number had passed and she had to haul herself out of the Nile once again.

She would give anything to have that third chance. She knew now what she wanted, needed. It was Spike.

"Hey, isn't that from Music Man?" Dawn yelled over the sound of the marching band. "Mom loved that movie"

Buffy began to softly cry as she recognized the song. "The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones." "Damned Vampire always was right when it came to me."


	3. Chapter 3

The Summers ladies settled into their chairs by the window at Dukes and looked over the menu. "I just know I want to try that Hula Pie thing. I mean macadamia nut ice cream is worth the possible muffin top later." Dawn, tall and thin as a reed had no more reason to worry about weight gain than her Slayer sister but California seemed to make even the most fit women feel insecure.

Buffy ordered a huge salad with Ahi while Dawn wolfed down a Mango BBQ burger to Buffy's amusement. "We're in one of the best fresh seafood places on the coast and you order a burger?"

"So says salad girl."

"At least mine has a nice hunk of tuna on it!"

"Think anyone would care if we hogged the table during the fireworks? Bet we can see them from here since we're on the beach."

Buffy looked around at the large crowd already filling the restaurant and smirked. "I suppose I could put up a decent fight but my guess is they've already reserved every table in here for later. Let's just eat then find a great spot on the beach to see things go boom that don't involve demons or Apocalypses for a change."

"I'm down with that." Dawn took another bite and watched Buffy as she chewed and swallowed, "So sister mine, what ARE you going to do now? I mean you finally staked that Immortal dude you were trying to take down in Rome and I know you are too restless to just hang around the Coliseum hoping to catch some kitten hunting demon. You planning to taking Giles up on his offer to come run the school in Scotland?"

"A world of no." Buffy shuddered. "Had enough Slayer training before we took on the First. And Giles and I are still kinda ...." Her voice trailed off. Buffy doubted she would ever fully trust her old Watcher again. Nothing he had done since the fall of Sunnydale indicated he'd changed a bit from the Travers wanna be he had become that last year. It was clear that no on had wanted to talk about Spike's sacrifice or contributions from the moment they drove away from the crater. Buffy had decided to suffer her grief alone from that moment.

The only one who had seemed to understand had shocked her. Xander had come up to her that first night, squeezed her shoulder and said, "They were both better than we ever gave them credit for." Xan had gone off to Africa soon after they had regrouped, probably because no one seemed to get his grief for Anya either. She got that.

They just couldn't see beyond the self congratulations that all those Slayers made thanks to Willow the uber witch and a magic scythe could have only held back the Turok-han for a short while. They would have lost it all along with Sunnydale if it hadn't been for Spike. His soul, his pure, loving, soul had been all the magic they had needed. She should have taken the damned amulet off him before it took his body with it.

Giles, of course, put all the credit on the amulet itself but the real power was Spike's soul. He was the souled Vampire who deserved that shoe thing, not Angel. Of course he wouldn't have wanted it, not really. Spike loved being a Vampire all powerful and strong, he hated the human he had been. No he wouldn't have wanted to be human. Couldn't take on a room full of humans much less a hoard of demons in a frail human body. That didn't mean he hadn't deserved it though.

Giles seemed to think any powerful warrior could have worn the amulet with the same result. He never seemed to see how special Spike was, how unique that soul was. She hadn't either, not at the time. A soul desired by a demon all for love!   
For love of her. She didn't see how special it was until he was burning to ash in front of her ... then it was too late.

If he had only come to her. If she had only known! Pointless now to even think on the might have been's.

They had barely left the restaurant before her cell rang. She was so tired of all of this. Always at someone's beck and call. Always having duty. Always having to put the greater good first. Down time? She hadn't even been allowed to properly die in peace!

One look and she wished she could just let it go to voice mail. Still, it could be another end of the world sitch, seems they always knew how to spoil a good sulk.

"What is it Giles."

"Buffy, I've just been in touch with Angel, or rather he rang me. I thought you'd like to know that I've offered him that post with the Council. His years of experience and knowledge will do us all in good stead. Perhaps you might want to return with him? He still has access to the jet from his days running Wolfram and Hart."

Buffy could have laughed at the irony. Giles had hated Angel and now was actively joining in the 'let's get Buffy and Angel back together' club. "Not going anywhere with Angel, Giles. I wish him well and think he might be an asset but he's YOUR asset, not mine."

A long silence greeted that. "I would have thought you to be keen on reestablishing, ur, a relationship with Angel. I know you didn't expect my approval but you should know by now that I only want your happiness."

Buffy bit back a caustic comment that was really demanding to be said. She decided to try for something slightly less bitter. "You really have no idea what makes me happy, made me happy, do you Giles?"

"He is gone, Buffy. He has been out of your life since Sunnydale and Angel assures me he is gone for good this time."

"Not helping, Giles."

"No, you misunderstand. I know there were feelings there and that you feel some responsibility but you must move on and ..." Buffy cut him off abruptly. The last thing she wanted was advice on her love life from a man who had forgotten how to even love his surrogate daughter.

"Bye Giles, fireworks to watch. You know we're over here celebrating getting rid of our connection to Merry 'Ole."

And here was the all American girl still in servitude to a bunch of old British men and customs. Independence day, hah!

"Come on Dawn, lets watch the pretty and dump some tea."


	4. Chapter 4

"WOW did you see that one!" Dawn's eyes were large as saucers. "They had to have been taking lessons from Disney."

"Pretty."

Buffy was watching and enjoying but her mind was on what Dawn had asked. What was the plan? She wasn't the "one" any longer. There were Slayers aplenty. She wasn't even the only experienced Slayer, there was Faith. Oh she contributed but she wasn't NEEDED, not any longer.

Maybe it was time to return to college, explore her options. Dawn was happy in Rome and her school had dorms available for live-in students. Buffy wasn't needed to shepherd her sister any longer, Dawn had grown up in most of the ways that mattered. It wouldn't be long before she'd be off to college herself. Dawn had already received acceptance letters from a handful of good Universities and had but to choose.

Maybe it would be fun to just take off like Xan, see the world. Find new Slayers and send them to Giles, spend long, lonely nights in some desert or anonymous city. She had plenty of money now and could arrange a retainer from the new Council for freelance work. She wouldn't need much. One thing she was certain about was that she was not going to Scotland and not just because Angel was going to be there.

She wasn't running from him, not from anyone. Today was the perfect day to declare her own independence. She remembered having to memorize the declaration of independence years ago. She couldn't remember much but did remember the beginning, _"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation._

 _We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness..._ "

The Council's band wasn't political but it was as restraining as any government. It was time to do some of that pursuing that she had as much right to as anyone.

"Oooh another good one!" Dawn was excited. "Did you see how big that one was?"

Buffy smiled indulgently at her little sister. No, Dawn didn't need her now, not at her side at any rate. It wasn't as if Buffy was thinking of never being around. Dawn would probably get sick of her hanging around too much. She'd make sure to drop in often and never let her calls go to voice mail.

"Dawn. I was thinking about what .."

Dawn swung around and grabbed Buffy's arms, "Did you see that?"

"Yeah, nice firework. Dawn I'm thinking about..."

"NO! Shut up Buffy and LOOK!" Dawn was pointing frantically up the beach not into the sky as Buffy expected.

She didn't see anything, not at first, not until another large firework lit everything up and glinted off white hair and black leather. He was standing about 50 yards away and just staring.

Buffy took off at a run nearly knocking people down in her haste. It had better be him or she was about to embarrass herself terribly.

"Hello, cutie." Was all he got out before an armful of kissing Slayer ended any further conversation ... for now.

~ fin


End file.
